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When it comes to dating, not many of us manage to organize anything more interesting than watching a movie or eating out. There are lots of ideas on how you can turn your date into a brilliant night which you will both remember. Just switch on your imagination and think outside the box. Here are some hints on how you can create a unique dating experience.
1. Date on the roof: It’s romantic, unusual and not that difficult to organize! Do some research and find a local rooftop bar. There’s plenty in London! What could be more romantic? Grab your headphones, give one to her and dance under the stars all night.
2. Rent a limousine: Cars are not only a means of transportation but the way to a good time! Rent a cool car for a couple of hours and spend time enjoying the ride whilst talking, laughing and having fun. Just prepare some food and drinks to make the ride more enjoyable.
3. Go to the theater or listen to opera: Get dressed classically and spend the evening with an aristocratic spirit. In our age of jeans, movies and games it will make a big difference.
4. Go extreme! Try parachute jumping, skydiving or bungee jumping. This will give you the chance to try something new. The adrenaline you both get will bring you closer to each other. Just a little hint: Get to know the girl’s preferences beforehand. Not every girl will agree to extreme stuff like this.
5. Take some classes together: Try painting, dancing, ceramics… Anything you like! It will help you to find more common interests and create a lot of positive emotions. And who knows? Maybe you will continue with your new hobby together?
6. Go to a foreign cuisine and try something you have both never tried: Do some research and get to the most authentic place you can find. The evening can be continued with the same unusual music and maybe a movie after.
7. Go to the art gallery or hang around in the bookstore: If your date loves art then this will surprise her. You’ll have the chance to learn more about modern art as well as show her that you share common interests.
8. Go exercising together! Maybe bungee jumping is too extreme, but your date will unlikely refuse a simple working out like hiking or going to the gym. The competitive spirit will stimulate endorphins and you will both have a wonderful time. Moreover, if you over train, there’ll be an excuse to go to the spa together the next day!
9. Go to a live concert: If your date’s favourite band is in town, simply grab some tickets and surprise her. What could be better than spending two hours dancing and shouting out your favorite songs together?
10. Spend the day at the beach: If you want a relaxed day with warm conversations, then make a picnic at the seaside! The sun will make you feel more relaxed and comfortable and this is perfect to spend the night in the same romantic way.
By Paul Smith from Miami who writes best paper writing service reviews.
He also is excited about creating guest posts on various other topics including sports, relationships, lifestyle and social media. For any questions, contact Paul at Google+
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If you look at old western movies, it’s easy to distinguish the good guys from the bad ones: the good guys wore white hats while displaying a beautiful, sparkly smile. The bad guys, however, wore black hats and had a crooked smile.
Unfortunately in real life, you can’t always detect a bad guy from a good guy – not even by their smiles. By the time you make this discovery, you may have experienced a heart full of misery and disappointment.
Good Guy vs. Bad Guy
What makes a good guy a “good guy” and bad guy a “bad guy”?
The following qualities makes a good guy just that – a good guy:
• He’s focused on you and what makes you happy – even if it means taking you to a chick flick when he wants to see a superhero movie
• He’s trustworthy; a man of his word to you and everyone else
• He appreciates your cooking, eating every bite of it – even if it tastes bad!
• He occasionally or frequently brings you flowers for no reason
• He never forgets your birthday or Valentine’s Day
• He plans wonderful dates and trips for the two of you
• He’s dependable – a definite plus
The following qualities makes a bad guy just that – a bad guy:
• He’s very selfish and greedy, yet he manages to make such elaborate excuses that you overlook these characteristics
• He’s untrustworthy to the point that you question whether anything he tells you is the truth
• He redefines situations in ways that work for him and not you
• He does as little as possible for you – if anything at all
• He purposely forgets your birthday and Valentine’s Day
• If he brings you flowers, it’s because there’s a motive behind it – something that will benefit him
• He’s not dependable whatsoever – a huge red flag!
Whether you choose a good guy or a bad one, your choice depends on the values you consider as important regarding your relationship. Then again, maybe you’re interested in both – some women are!
Most women, however, choose one of the two. There are reasons for their choosing.
For instance, there are women who only like bad boys because they’re adventurous despite being no good. There are other women who appreciate the comfort, honesty and security that comes with a being with a good man.
A Woman’s Right to Love
Given the qualities of a good guy, why would any woman consider them dull? Furthermore, considering the self-centered qualities of a bad boy, why would a woman want to date, and worse, fall in love with a bad boy?
Women often ask these questions of each other regarding their choice of men. And the truth is, regardless of a woman’s choice, she does have a right to love whomever she chooses to love.
However, it should be noted that good guys make far better husbands than bad guys. While you can enjoy a happy, stable marriage with a good guy, the same can’t be said for marriage to a bad guy.
Marriage with a bad boy will always be chaotic. This is a surefire pathway to an unhappy marriage.
Nonetheless, the type of marriage a woman wants is her choice. And this, in turn, gives her the freedom to choose between a good guy and a bad boy.
Pamela “Penlady” Jones is the author of Virtual Love: Everything You Need to Know About Online Dating. This eBook is available for purchase at Amazon.
Also, if you want to meet the good guy, come to our CupidBanquets event in London on November 4th where you will have a real date with a two-course meal and a glass of wine which beats speed dating any day! Tickets are available here:
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What Men Really Desire In a Woman
This is the first blog I have written in a while. Sadly, the event organising and general day-to-day tasks have pulled me away from writing, and I have been waiting for a good subject to hit my mind. Recently, I’ve been thinking about what it is that really grabs my attention and more importantly, what makes me desire and lust for a woman as opposed to just doing it for the sake of it or acting out of scarcity.
For me, those ‘real’ moments are few and far between but they do exist which gives me good room for reflection. This is written solely from my perspective, so other men may have a different angle but I believe that deep down every man desires and deserves the same thing. Whether they go for it or not is a different story as a lot of men just settle out of scarcity. So what do men really want in a woman? Here are a few key points:
Intellect, Understanding and Challenge.
Getting on with a woman and having a ‘bond’ is one thing, but feeling like you are understood and appreciated is another. Being challenged in a subtle way can speak volumes. I once met a lady who asked me lots of questions that I’ve never been asked before and it got me thinking about myself and some of them I found quite difficult to answer. She wasn’t being harsh – just curious and this certainly grabbed my attention. It also displayed intellect which fascinates me. By the end of the conversation I felt like she had gone inside my brain and knew everything there was to know. I had nowhere to hide. She had worked me out. It was a rare occasion, but I felt like she understood me. Being the complex person I am, this was a treat! Her challenges, understanding and intellect created a lasting impression.
Every man wants to be desired, and so does every woman. Sometimes women speak of desiring a more dominant and/or alpha male that takes control and this is fine and completely acceptable, but every once in a while, some subtle affection and the indication of desire for YOU can really turn the tables. Every chase gets exhausting after a while. Sometimes it is nice when a woman holds your hand or kisses you without having to initiate it. Again, that feeling of knowing you are desired without having to put up a constant fight will speak volumes. When you achieve this, you know that what you have is a genuine desire. Having to work for it constantly can sometimes leave you questioning: ‘Does this woman actually want me?’ The longer that feeling lasts for, the quicker I find myself losing interest.
Physical attraction is very important but intellect, understanding and a feeling of being desired go hand in hand with physical attraction. Whether you are into tall blonde women, or you prefer a short brunette, her physical attributes will always become more visually stimulating once the other criteria is met. Why? Because you know that she is yours and nobody else can have her and that within itself is a good feeling to have as again, it comes back to that feeling of being wanted.
Another thing; being able to have some impact on physical attraction is always a winner. Nobody likes a stubborn woman! A simple ‘I love it when you wear that dress/coat/perfume’ should hopefully result in her doing it more to please you. If it doesn’t, then you may have a stubborn woman at hand! Or you may question… ‘Did she listen to me?’ If a woman really wants you, she will wear that dress more if you say she looks good in it! After all, every woman wants and deserves to be desired too.
I was once in a relationship with a much older lady who was quite content with lazing around the house all weekend. As much as I adored her, I used to say to her ‘come on its Saturday! Lets go out and do something! Lets grab some food or take a walk!’ Her answer was this:
‘I’ve been working hard all week and I like to laze around on the weekend.’
That is fine, but for me personally, I like to go out and do stuff – have adventures on the weekend. It’s what I moved to London for! So having a partner that is willing to do this stuff with me and be spontaneous is a win-win situation. If I say, ‘hey its’ a sunny Saturday, lets go for a walk across the Southbank,’ and she says ‘I’m staying in doors all day…’ Then I quickly become repelled. Again, nobody likes a constant battle. Relationships should be about harmony, not war.
Some of us have things we’d like to keep away from the limelight. I once watched an episode of ‘Banged Up Abroad,’ where the man had been locked up in a Venezuelan prison for 12 years. He barely made it back to the UK due to embassy problems. But now he is a happy, married man with two children and a good job. He has gone in the complete opposite direction.
But imagine how he must have felt when he told his partner that?! Some would want to keep it to themselves. So trust is a huge thing, because if you feel like you will be judged, then you may have found the wrong woman. Everybody makes mistakes but the question is, how do we move past them? Finding a partner who is understanding and non-judgmental is the key to long term stability. If I feel like a can tell a woman anything without being judged, then I am on the right path.
Sex, Children, Marriage and Communication
I recently did an interview with international sex and relationship guru Emma Ziff and she spoke of a woman that came to her with the issue of continuously meeting men that didn’t want children. Her answer was this:
‘Why make it hard on yourself? There are plenty of men out there who do want children. Don’t try to push someone who doesn’t want what you want – find someone who does!’
I agree! Men need a woman with a similar outlook on life. If you have a partner with a high sex drive that you can’t match then why bother? Once again, there is no point putting up a fight. Relationships are all about harmony. If you don’t want kids but your partner does, then why be selfish and waste her time and yours? A man will find a woman far more attractive if her drive and long term outlook on life is similar to his…
So lets’ stop with the battles and stop settling for less. Lets create harmony and find what we really want!
Want to have a have a real date and meet that special one? MyEventBucket are hosting a speed dating event in London which includes a two course meal and a glass of wine where everybody gets a real date at the end. Tickets are going fast, so grab one now at: https://cupidbanquetsnovember.eventbrite.co.uk/
- What a Man Wants In a Woman (naijaobserver.wordpress.com)
- How to Tell If a Man Likes a Woman (mylovelyarthur.wordpress.com)
- Abundance State of Mind: When it come to dating (truegritlifestyle.wordpress.com)
- Why Men Find It So Hard to Understand What Women Want (mylovelyarthur.wordpress.com)
- My husband is not romantic at all! (lifewiththebodnars.wordpress.com)
- Seduce Women By Touch (getadatenow.wordpress.com)
- Darling, Do You Admire Me as Much as I Desire You? (handsofclay.wordpress.com)
- Are you a man-robot? (jacamoblog.co.uk)
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Photo: Alex Saville Photography
Dating is a tricky subject. Everybody has a different perspective and experiences. Some people have a five-date rule, and others aren’t bothered if it happens on the first date. Many believe that if you ‘give yourself up’ on date one, then there is no chance of developing a loving, intimate relationship.
But is this true?
I caught up with Sex, Intimacy and Relationship specialist Emma Ziff to put an end to some of these stigmas. If you are single, and you have never heard of Emma Ziff, then you must do some research on her because she has a wide range of experience and expertise in dealing with all kinds of issues ranging from couples to… Well, you get the point.
Starting out as a hotel/restaurant entrepreneur and hopping between Marbella to Florida to London, Emma has developed years of people-skills acquired over a long career. According to her, most of the issues she dealt with that her hospitality clients were going through, ‘all reverted back to relationships’, which is what inspired her to delve deeper into this area.
Emma is not just a sex-therapist. She engages in radio, TV, and public-speaking at events whilst running eclectic weekends for couples with relationship challenges; not to mention crossing paths with self-help giant Anthony Robbins. She is currently working on a new book, which will give people ‘the permission to not feel guilty about who they are.’
So why are there 1.2 million single people in London? Emma thinks that this is blown out of proportion. ‘How old are they? Are they divorced? Everybody has different circumstances…. Not everybody wants to be in a relationship’, she says. ‘There is a massive stigma about being single. You don’t have to date. There’s nothing wrong with being single if that is what you have chosen, and not because of circumstances!’
It is fair to say that some people find ‘single syndrome’ frustrating, and Emma agrees with this. ‘There are many people who say that they are happy being single, yet they are not – deep down they want to have company. As humans we want to be loved, we do, however, need to be in a good place to be in a healthy relationship.’
There is some truth to be said about this. But what can we do if we have been single for a long time and we want to get out of this rut? ‘It’s because people don’t know what they want. Most people know what they don’t want, yet they don’t know what they DO want. Focus on what you do want, believe it, take action, and he/she CAN show up.’
Another issue people have is attracting the same partners over and over again, which is very common. ‘People tend to attract the same people. They can have similar qualities even if they look different. It is common for a woman to attract a man who doesn’t want children when they want to have children themselves. Why make it hard on yourself? There are plenty of men out there who do want children. Don’t try to push someone who doesn’t want what you want – find someone who does!’
So if you have been attracting the same partners over and over again, then STOP. ‘Look at the pattern. Try and establish why you are attracting this. Is it because you don’t think yourself to ‘be enough’ or you are ‘too much’? Taking a break can really help to resolve these internal issues.’
There are those who are in a relationship with a partner who won’t give them what they need. ‘I know people that have split up with their partner, found someone else and had a child almost instantly. Go with your gut instincts when you meet someone, whether to date, friendship or business. Does this feel like the kind of person you would want to spend time with?’
So what is the difference between lust and love? Emma believes that you CAN have lust in a loving relationship. ‘You can feel lust with someone you love, as intimacy is a big part of a relationship. It is important to find someone with a similar sex drive or someone that can bring it out in you. If you love sex, why struggle with someone who is just not interested in it? Pure lust is when you want to have sex and you want to act on it immediately, although you can have that instinct at first which can slowly become love.’ Lots of couples like to abstain for 3-5 dates before they are intimate.’
But does this matter? ‘I’m not into rules. Take away the expectation, and it can become a relationship. None of this ‘why hasn’t he called me?’ Your expectation is too high. If you take it away, you can enjoy it for what it is. Lust can become love and if it doesn’t feel right to have sex with somebody on the first date then don’t do it. Follow your instincts.’
What about those people who are dating or sleeping with more than one person? Is it wrong? Can these develop into relationships? ‘If you are doing that, the people you are with will sense you are not committed. There’s an energy that is given out and they can feel it – they know something is just not right. If you are being intimate with someone, give him/her the time and respect; otherwise you start to dilute the enjoyment of being with someone. It can get a bit messy and inauthentic; disingenuous. If you are sleeping with lots of people, then you haven’t found the right person yet. If you had found the right person already, then you wouldn’t be interested in having sex with somebody else.’
Changing your intention and focusing on one partner at a time will help you to get more out of your relationships. But what about people that struggle to meet someone in the first place? It is now very normal and accepted for people to use online dating sites. But do they actually work? Some people believe you should just get on with your life, be content and the right person will come along. Others like to be pro-active. There is no right or wrong, and Emma agrees. ‘What works for some people, may not for others.
‘There are pros and cons to everything – it can feel more natural if you meet someone in real life through a friend – you’ve already got something in common. If you go on a website, although there is a lot of choice – it can be a bit of a hiding place for many people who are shy. Besides, it doesn’t have to be an online dating site. You can meet people online under different circumstances. A friend of mine met someone on an interest website and this was because they shared a similar passion. Most importantly, it’s about the intention and the energy you put into something – if you take time out of dating, you can create a bubble around yourself. It’s like you’ve put a sign up that says ‘I’m closed off,’ but if you change your intention, you open the door to new suggestions and you’ll be surprised by what and who can come to you.’
So how do we change our intentions? ‘Well, intention can be making notes of what you want – like when you think of an old friend and they suddenly contact you out of the blue.’ I’m sure you’ve all experienced this phenomenon. Making a list of the things that you do want can help you to understand what it is that you desire, and most importantly, you’ll stop settling for what you don’t want.
Emma also believes that common ground is crucial. ‘I like the idea of meeting people naturally through a common interest. If being a vegan is your lifestyle and beliefs then it will be very difficult being with someone who loves their weekly steak. The last thing you want to do is be a vegetarian and have a partner who cooks meat everyday. And besides, there are vegan dating sites…’ Is there now? We’ll have to look into that!
So whether you are a vegan who uses vegan-dating sites or you are religious with strong beliefs, it doesn’t matter. Meet somebody with similar interests and similar values to you. STOP settling for less. It doesn’t matter how you do it. It’s the energy and intention you put into it that counts. If you are struggling to meet somebody with similar interests try a variety of different approaches. Put yourself in a position where you will meet these types of people. Join a website or go to an event where people share that interest, and you will quickly discover that new doors will open for you.
Clear your mind of any old expectations and open up to new ideas and new possibilities. Does it matter if you have sex on the first date? No it doesn’t. If you trusted that person enough to do that AND you enjoy each other’s company then removing your old expectations could open the doors to something special. Follow these simple steps from Emma and you could be closer to finding that special one.
- Signs To Know That You’re Ready To Start Dating Again (thegoodmotherproject.com)